Thursday, December 14, 2017

Smiling Faces

So, I'm gonna try to explain a few tings that have been going on lately and I have other reasons for posting this also, as I'll also explain.  Due to the nature of things I want a public record of what is going on for my own security.  Now, this is concerning the next to last post I made where I mentioned a former friend that I was trying to help and that it had turned into a possibly dangerous situation.  I mentioned several posts back that a certain elderly neighbor, that I have know for a long time and written about many times here on this blog, had a significant stroke and I had been helping him every morning, along with Allen helping him.  In fact, Allen and I have waited on this guy hand and foot for the last 13 years since his family mostly has nothing to do with him.  The last few years it's mostly been Allen, due to my health problems, but he didn't need a lot of intense help until this stroke.  So, after 2 months or more of helping this guy, washing his butt when he couldn't bathe himself, feeding him, cooking for him and all kinds of other stuff, he actually made a significant recovery.  He's able to cook and feed himself, take a shower etc.  So, one day when I'm up there helping tidy up and stuff, he starts asking me all kinds of questions about my oldest brother; the brother that many of you long-time readers know committed suicide.  So, I was baffled as to why he was asking about him but I answered the questions; yes, Jerry died while we were sharing an apartment (but did not die in the apartment).  Yes, Jerry left his possessions to me...which we had to mostly sell to pay for his funeral etc.  So, then this old fart says, "well, that was all pretty convenient for you!" and proceeds to tell me I killed my brother... Now, I don't think I have to explain how hideous a thing that is to say to someone that has survived the suicide of someone they love dearly.  That was 24 years ago and I've learned to live with his death but that's a scab that is very easily knocked off.  I was so horrified and shocked at what he was saying that I just freaked out and left quickly.  It has upset me to no end.  I can't even begin to describe the horrible emotions that drags up. Then, the next day Neighbor PsychoPants tells Allen that, not only did I kill my brother (to get a few boxes of china and knickknacks), but that I am trying to kill him, so that I can steal all his stuff.  In fact, he is so convinced (delusional), that he made Allen take him down to his pharmacy 3 different times so he can show his prescription meds to the pharmacist in hopes that the druggist would tell him that yes, his drugs had been tampered with.  Of course, they had not and one pill that he was just SURE was a poison turned out to be an OTC stool softener that he had bought himself.  I'm sure the pharmacist got a good laugh out of that.  But this doesn't stop him.  He has been going around telling other folks in town that I am trying to kill him and/ or I am stealing his stuff, I am robbing him and so on.  This to the point that the one woman that's brave enough to go in his house actually "friended" me on Facebook, so she could spy on me I guess.  He can't see what I do there and she sent me the request immediately after visiting him, so I know he put her up to it.  Of course I accepted the request just to let her see that I'm NOT doing anything.  (I sell some stuff I make etc. on FB and he's convinced that I'm selling his stuff that I steal).  Like I'd be that stupid.
Now, I understand that PsychoPants is emotionally unstable, mentally deranged, whatever you want to say.  He has been a serious hoarder all his life, so that right there shows he has mental problems.  The stroke and his uncontrolled diabetes has further affected his mind.  A MRI done right after his stroke showed huge swelling or a mass on his brain that the doctors later said was nothing...Ugh yeah.  However, his ability and understanding to hide this behavior around most people or certain people shows me that he knows what he is doing to a certain extent.  A truly crazy person is crazy all the time.  They don't know to hide it.  He does know and knows very well how to appear to be the poor little, frail elderly man that everyone ignores.  Well, we found out why his family never has anything to do with him.  He has accused all of them of all the same things.  And in my opinion...a person doesn't think up hideous shit like this unless they have thought it or done it themselves...

So, here's why I am writing about this.  He has gone around telling folks in this town a bunch of lies that I am stealing from him, trying to kill him etc.  Now, I know a lot of folks would just write it off to dementia or so and tell me to do the same.  BUT, a lot of folks would not.  People these days will believe anything under the right circumstances.  A couple of hours on Facebook will prove that.  I don't know what people are believing or not but I do know that some local folks do read this blog and I want a public record of what really has transpired and that I have totally cut out any contact with this person in an effort to protect myself.  Even if he called me to come help him, I could not safely do so for fear that he could/ would call the police once I got there and say I was assaulting him or something.  He is that mean and hateful. I have given back all my keys, blocked him on Facebook, I have no contact with him, I do not go over there.. nothing.. and I want that known.  He has threatened several times to call the police and I have no idea what he is going to do from one day to the next.  Of course, he has absolutely no proof because I have not been doing anything but that doesn't matter to him.  He says the cops should believe what he says just because he says it.  Now, yes, I know most police could tell after a few minutes that he has dementia and stuff but it still scares me.  He is extremely hateful and is SO obsessed with his garbage and stuff that he actually thinks someone would want it.  He is your typical hoarder whose house is filled with junk, basically.  To the point it is deteriorating and rats, exposure, neglect, snakes and a whole bunch of other stuff has rendered most things in his house to be worthless, rotted crap.  There's nothing there that anyone would want.

So, I don't know what else to do.  He went on another tirade today telling Allen that I was breaking into his house while he was gone and threatening to call the cops. Turns out I was also gone during that time period delivering some shelves and doing some carpenter work for some friends.  I've done everything I can to stay as far away from him as I can but I basically still live "next door" to him, although it's about a quarter mile.  I don't know what else to do to prove or make a record that I have no contact with him and never want to again.  I am keeping a journal of sorts on days he goes nuts and what I was doing that day etc.  Other than that and this...I don't know what else to do to protect myself.

So, that's Part 1.  Part 2 will come a little later.  Ha!

Monday, December 04, 2017

Chicken Time

Okay, I'm gonna do some shameless self-promotion here!!  If you are so inclined, please follow the link I'm going to share and purchase your very own 1st Annual Girls of Dragon Valley Calendar!!! Brought to you by popular demand on Facebook.  I think you'll enjoy it.  I told the girls that if they are not going to lay many eggs....they gonna have to make me some money some other way!
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Friday, December 01, 2017

The Beat Goes On

I just wanted to make a quick post to let everyone know that I am doing okay; pretty well actually, and will post a more in-depth update and explanation soon.  Things are changing quite a lot here and I've been busy.  I will say that I have had to deal with a potentially dangerous-to-me situation with a person that I really thought was a friend and I was genuinely trying to help, but who has turned out to be mentally unstable.  I am totally free of this situation now though and doing well.  Such things are very upsetting though and I do not have a lot of areas in which to express my frustration.
There are several  other situations going on also and I'll explain later.  Many thanks to those that emailed or called to check on me.  I am not trying to be vague or melodramatic but there are potential legal issues that I want to be cautious of.

A friend sent me this little meme that I thought was just hilarious and very appropriate to a lot of how I feel about now. lol!  I'll see ya'll soon.  Take care.

Friday, November 17, 2017


All I'm gonna say is just, God give me patience and strength.  All I want is just to live in peace and be left alone.

Thursday, August 10, 2017

All You Can Carry

 Boy, time just flies by here like lightning!  Just about the time I thought I might have more to post about, Life throws a monkey wench in it all.  About 3 weeks ago, Fred (my elderly neighbor) had a small stroke and Allen and I have been very busy since taking care of him.  I take mornings up until about noon and Allen takes over from there. Of course, it varies and some days I end up going up there well into the night.  But then it's reversed some days too.  Fred is doing better but still needs help with some meals, washing dishes and laundry and taking to doctor's appointments.  Some days I don't have to do too much but then some days (like today) I was up there for quite a while.  I don't know if I ever mentioned it on this blog before, but Fred is also a notorious hoarder.  Something that afflicts many folks these days.  Allen has asthma and I have bad allergies, so it's a struggle for the both of us to say the least.  We've kinda made a dent in the worst of the filth though, so it's slightly better now.  Well, rats don't jump out of the kitchen drawers at you anymore, I'll say that.

So, I am still trying to get more into doing my art and have actually opened an Etsy shop.  It's small now but I hope to add more soon.  I've included a few photos of some fun little things I've done lately.  Now, these are not any kind of high art and I don't pretend for them to be.  It's just something fun that I've enjoyed doing.  And it helps me practice with the idea of taking random scrap and making them into totally unrelated objects.  They are very much like puzzles and it helps my brain and thinking processes.

 Finding these old vintage cheese graters is actually quite a challenge nowadays.  I've managed to locate a few.

I really like the big dragonfly.  Most people show these hanging on walls (like on Pinterest) but I like mine standing on legs!  I don't know....makes him seem more ready to fly away or something. Ha! I like his little curled up feeties too.  Did you know that a real dragon fly cannot walk?  Their legs are only for standing and grabbing.  They can't actually move them in a walking motion.

Before Fred had his stroke I had also managed to do a bit more work on the kitchen, running all the backsplash tile and pouring the last bar top counter top.  I'll try to post photos of that soon.  I looks great. 
I've been keeping up my running and exercising but have not entered any more 5Ks.  I hope to do that but they've either been too far away, too expensive or in the morning and my mornings are spent with Fred now.  At any rate, I need to do the running and exercising no matter what.  I've been doing a lot of yard work also.  Since switching to the Sinemet I have been feeling better for the most part, although I still have a bad day every so often and I still have issues with driving very far. One great thing is that my right shoulder has started to loosen up!  I've been to the Doc about it and he said it was "frozen shoulder", which happens with some Parkinson's folks (and others as well), and it had gotten pretty bad.  I really had a lot of trouble showering, washing my hair etc.  But since starting on the Sinemet it's slowly loosening up and today I was actually able to do 3 sets of tricep dips in my workout!!  Yay!! something I've not been able to do in a very long time.  Unfortunately, I've been quite tired since I've been helping Fred out so much and my tremors are noticeably worse on some days.  If I get tired or upset they start up real bad and that's been an issue but hopefully things will improve and I can get a little more rest.

I will try to post again soon but ya'll know I say that every time and then never manage to! ha!

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Growing Her Wings

 Whew!!  I have been really busy lately!  Which is a great thing.  We are beginning the height of our growing season here and have lots of stuff coming in from the garden now.  So, you know that means picking, canning, freezing, drying and so on.

 Most of the garden is doing well but some things got off to a real slow staart, like the tomatoes and okra.  We've had plenty of rain!  But that's makes for not so much that slows down some veggies.  We are finally starting to get a little of everything now.

 I guess I put this up mainly for the little birds!  They are about the only ones that ever see it!  The little phoebes and bluebirds have been working their little hearts out this year though...catching lots of bugs for me.

 I think we will have a much better corn crop this year.  We added amendments to this plot all winter long and it seems to have helped a lot.  Can't wait for some fresh, hot buttered corn on the cob!!

 Just a little sampling of what we are getting so far. 

 We also did a bit of landscaping while we had the neighbor's backhoe.  This area was really lumping and horrible; filled with rocks and stumps.  It was about impossible to mow, so I had Allen dig up all the stumps and grade everything.  We also expanded the little wet weather stream bed and I am slowly lining it with flat rocks to make it more attractive when it's dry.  It looks pretty nice actually but this photo isn't very good.  The edges are lined with irises in places.
Jack also cut out several old, crappy trees and expanded the cleared area, which you can't really seee here.  We intend to plant another apple tree and possibly a plum and cherry.

My annual row of zinnias in the garden is finally  blooming!  There are a few other flowers mixed in but the zinnias kinda dominate. 

Thank you for all the kind comments in the last post.  I wanted to respond here to a couple of the last ones made, so to be sure they would be seen.  And also, please, please note this:  my blog is set so that all comments made after 3 days of the post publishing, must be moderated by me.  I have to physically post them.  Blogger does NOT always tell me when some people comment.   I don't know why.  So....I don't always know that I a comment has been left unless I go to the blog dashboard and check specifically for that.  I forget to do this frequently because not a lot goes on here anymore.  I recently discovered a comment from last year!! that I never knew about and never published!  I would never skip a comment on purpose (unless the person was just being a total and complete, useless ass in their comment), so if this ever happens, please know it is not on purpose.  My memory is just not what it was and sometimes I forget to look.

Since March the doctor has had me trying a couple of different meds and dosage amounts etc. and it's had me all over the place at times.  But that's just natural.  They have to try lots of different things for each person to find the right combo.  Anyway, he doubled my dose of Mirapex lately and I had a very bad reaction to that and went I dropped back down to my low dose it seemed to throw me in a another horrible direction!  It was quite unpleasant.  So, after wrangling around with the cost of another drug (there was no way I could begin to afford it) he put me on a very, very low dose of Sinemet.  This is actually helping a lot and I feel much better.  I still have a lot of pain and stiffness but the brain fog is better and just feeling more like doing things and with a better outlook.  My skin has cleared up great and doesn't hurt all the time and I can swallow food easily now.

Tammy asked about a support group and I have looked into that.  Unfortunately, there is only one anywhere around me and that's at UAB, of course.  On a good day... UAB is at least 45 minutes away, usually 50-60 minutes, so that's not really something that would work well.  I still don't often feel "clear" or "on" enough to drive in Birmingham traffic. If you've ever been or lived here you'll know what I mean! lol!  So.  I did find a good online support group though, that I like very much and is very helpful.  So, that allows me some contact with folks that truly understand my condition.  They are very encouraging and a lot of them have some pretty wicked sense of humor, so it's fun.

So, that's part of what's going on.  Hopefully I will be back soon with some more activity!!  I hope you all are enjoying your summer!!

Thursday, June 08, 2017

Hello Hello!!

 Anybody still out there??!!!

 Ha!  I truly did not mean to be gone this long but I guess life, mental fogginess, apathy, spurts of busyness and everything in between has gotten in the way.  I have been feeling better lately in many ways but still seem stuck when trying to come up with anything to post about.  Maybe I've just gotten so used to the instant post and response of Facebook and similar sites that blogging seems sluggish to me.  I do know that there are many days I have trouble with typing still.  Spend more time trying to correct mistakes than actually typing.  I'm also having trouble with words more often.  I forget or just can't think of the specific words I'm trying to recall.  Of course, everyone does that to some extent but it's getting fairly frequent for me and, as someone that is used to writing fairly easily in the past, it is very frustrating.

 Unfortunately, I just don't have that much to post about it seems.  We did have our annual heavy rains and flooding, as you can see.  They just came about 4 months later than normal.  But that's fine.  We are out of our horrible drought at last.  I think there are just a few tiny area of minor drought over on the west side of the state but for the most part we seem to have recovered.  As you could see in the first photo also, our garden is doing really well.  And many of the flowers are going great this year. 

 I am struggling horribly to get back into any art business though.  Sales for all kinds of things have just plummeted.  You may recall that Allen and I had a booth in an antique/ junk mall where we were making halfway decent sales.  Well, that just all tanked, so we shut that down.  Many others in that same mall have shut down also. I'm looking into online sales, like maybe Etsy, but not sure how that's going to go.  I'll give it a go most likely.  Some people do really well and some don't.  It seems like just sort of a gamble. You never know what's going to be a seller these days. So that's really been a bummer to me.  I've never, ever had trouble making money with my crafts or construction or anything.  Now, it's just all a bomb.  I really don't know what to do.  But it's just one more thing helping me to feel about useless.

 I am having some moderate success selling produce from our garden and eggs.  I mean, it ain't nothing to make any kind of living but it helps pay my incidentals and buy a few groceries that we don't grow.  I'm going to tell you the truth...I feel cursed.  Honest to God, cursed.  Like there is some kind of blackness settled here.  I even smudged and salted the house in an effort to clear things.  It did feel better afterwards and I have had more energy to do things but everything just seems a dead end.  I have a feeling I know where it's coming from but I have no solution at this point.  I'll just have wait it out I guess.

I do not mean to abandon this blog but it's just very hard to formulate a meaningful post anymore.  My brain is just pulled in several different directions at once.  It's hard to concentrate. Typing just now I am suddenly having an excruciating time getting these words out and typing correctly.  I was doing pretty good there for a while and it's like, 2 seconds ago everything just crashed.  If I were to leave this written as is and uncorrected, you would not be able to make heads or tails of what I was trying to say.
I went to back to my neurologist on Monday and he wants to up my Mirapex dosage to see if it doesn't help this brain fog and stuff a bit more.  I'm also having a great deal of trouble with my right side and right shoulder.  Everything on that side has just become so stiff that I am having trouble functioning with some things.  I have a lot of difficulty washing my hair, getting dressed etc. because I can't raise my right arm very much.  So, went back yesterday and had an MRI and X-rays just to rule out an injury.  I don't think it's any kind of injury because when it started I felt so bad I generally didn't do crap around here.  Hard to injure yourself laying on the couch. 

So, I am really still struggling with many things.  A lot of it is emotional.  Parkinson's is a very, very difficult diagnosis to accept.  It's especially hard when you feel so alone.  It's a scary disease and no one wants to hear about it or talk abut it.  If they even believe you have it to begin with.  You want to tell people what's going on with you; why you're so slow, why you're hurting so much, why you are having trouble talking...but then, you figure maybe it's best to keep your mouth shut because you know they are judging you the whole time if you don't act like that person on TV that has Parkinson's acts.  Frustration is rampant.  I feel like I'm stuck in Groundhog Day.  Except every day I have to get up, do my exercises, run until I just can't anymore, just to get my brain to pump out enough dopamine to get my head clear enough to understand what I'm doing for the day and maybe have enough energy to do it.  Then I go to bed exhausted and it all resets itself during my sleep.  Lather, rinse, repeat.  Over and over. 
And it's only me to cheer myself on, to pat myself on the back when I do pretty good for the day, when I fight back and don't just totally succumb to the whole shittiness of this condition.  I post a few photos on Facebook so that 2 or 3 people can tell me I'm doing okay.  That maybe I'm not falling so far behind that I'll never catch up.  But it actually helps.  A kind word goes a long way, even if it's not in real time.  You take what you can get, ya know?
I will improve. I will get better.  I will finish my house and I will have a happy, productive life.  There's a season for everything I the ol' saying goes.